I had a really horrible day yesterday. It was my first at CSU, and it made me miss Tri-C so bad. My teachers all seem nice, but when I read the syllabus for each class, I just want to cut my head off. And I have to read all my work out loud in creative writing and I have to give a group presentation/discussion in British Literature, and the thought of it makes me want to die. I know I’d like to be a teacher and so that probably sounds weird, but being a teacher means being an authority figure, so it wouldn’t be so difficult, you know? It just seems like so much and I feel so stupid compared the people in my classes, because so many of them were willing to participate in the brief discussion we had. Meanwhile I sat there feeling lost and on the verge of tears.
I actually cried in the bathroom while I talked to my mother.
My last class gets out at 5:50 P.M. and it’s pretty dark by that time, and I have to take the Health Line down Euclid Ave. to Public Square and then get on a bus home. And yesterday I missed the bus that would’ve taken me down West 54th by a fucking minute. So I had to wait twenty more to catch the bus that goes down State Road. But when the bus reached Brookpark, me and five other people found out that the bus only continues down State every other trip and that the buses were a little behind schedule, and that’s obviously how we all ended up on the wrong route. So I had to walk from Brookpark to my house, which is only about two miles, but it was windy and below freezing and I only wore a hoody because it was relatively nice (apart from rain) in the morning.
I called my parents to see if one of them would come and get me, but then an emergency arose and I came home to a fucking giant mess that I just don’t even want to talk about. But it was really fucking awful and I just want to sleep for the rest of the year.
